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Understanding 9/11My only sketch profile santa fe friends
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My only sketch profile santa fe friends: Or consider this from an 1856 letter she wrote to one of her dear friends my only sketch profile of heaven is a large blue sky bluer and larger than the biggest i've seen in june and in it are all my friends all of them every one of them those who are with me now those who were parted as we walked if roses has not faded and frosted not come and fallen here and there whom i could not waken there were no need of other heaven than the one below and if god had been here this summer and seen the things i've seen i guess that he would think his paradise super flows.
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- Or consider this from an 1856 letter she wrote to one of her dear friends my only sketch profile of heaven is a large blue sky bluer and larger than the biggest i've seen in june and in it are all my friends all of them every one of them those who are with me now those who were parted as we walked if roses has not faded and frosted not come and fallen here and there whom i could not waken there were no need of other heaven than the one below and if god had been here this summer and seen the things i've seen i guess that he would think his paradise super flows. This morning i want to preach on the value and virtues of friendship. I spoke to him on a more romantic love in february amor is one aspect one of the many faces of eros. The greek goddess of love. A second aspect or expression of this incredible. Force is philia. Show me your friends my grandfather used to say and i'll tell you who you are. My mother repeated this admonition to me regularly as a way of encouraging me to make friends with people. Good people the kind that i would be proud to bring home for my mother's inspection. Mom was usually supportive of what friends i made. And always supportive of giving me time to hang out with them. Of course i grew up in the 50s and 60s when we all ran wild throughout our respective neighborhoods and pretty much made up our own after school activities. I played at the ymca with the boy scouts and had my share of pretty good pals billy wallace j do share and edgar houser come to mine. In the 10th grade i started at a new school and eventually lost touch with all my elementary and junior high school friends. Do things to google i've reconnected with some of them like filet. My friends from high school have remained however as have a few from college. And the various venues of my life ever since. There are friends male these rather our friends male mostly with whom i share an intimacy that platonic but deep. And nourishing. Like a mountain spring almost ended soothing and healing effect. I've been contemplating what it is exactly that makes. A good friend. What are the attributes of friendship. I asked many people. Shooting including a few members here and naturally. Some of my friend. Almost everyone agreed that friendship involves trust. Loyalty. Joy. Joy in sharing ideas in in talking about ideas and about feelings and activities were involved in basically we all agreed. Pleasure in another's companionship whatever's going on or whatever is coming down in one fly. First of all trust. A friend is someone you can really talk to sometimes more honestly. Then willis spouse. All thoughts and feelings are fair game. Does it takes time to establish a true friendship. One has to see by close observation over months and years how well another listens how sensitive they are to the sutler feelings and ideas you may have shared. Adversity. When were strung out and hurting by virtue of social or romantic or economic reversals adversity has a way of revealing who are true friends really are the ones who are who are not made afraid or embarrassed by your tears your anger or your hour of in sobriety. One has to be careful though. There are a lot of phonies out there interested in the appearance of friendship but with a personal self-serving agenda. Smiling faces as the temptations one saying sometimes. Tell lies. Do we often like a person right off meaningful friendship takes a while to mature. Writing about her best friend norma gordon contemporary r&b diva patti labelle explains as time went on we grew stronger together and became like sisters it was nice having somebody around i could trust and tell anything to knowing it would stay with her until she leaves the planet. In the turkish words of the romantic of the roman stoic philosopher and politician seneca. After friendship it is confidence. Before it is judgement. Ralph waldo emerson the unitarian put it this way a friend is a person with whom i may be sincere. Before him i may think aloud. With a true friend you don't have to worry about having your words misconstrued or your intentions misinterpreted your friends gets you and understands where you're coming from. A second quality of a good friend is loyalty. Good friends hang in there. I enjoyed listening this time about a year ago actually i guess was more january 2014 15 months ago android listening. To the recorded. Books edition of the adventures of huckleberry finn which i took from the los angeles public library when i was living down there. I granted parts years ago under duress but it was fun to reimburse myself and see what jumps out. At 60 years old that i missed it 17 the inventors of huckleberry finn and i have a personal connection cuz i've done a lot of theater but the first lead i ever had was. Huck finn sound like i do like the character but this story is really a story of. Interracial friendship that huck anxiously reluctantly permits himself with jim. A runaway slave. What a hand notice that 17 was how hawk already had a good model for for what it means to be a friend in tom sawyer. A confident sidekick with an eveready alibi. Writing about her longtime pals in a black new york city social club 180 year old members said the good times as well as the sorrow. We've had our share of each. Were there for the tragedies and we get excited about all the joys a big part of what connects us is remembering all the fun we've had together. Being there through rough patches makes a huge difference. The summer between high-school and college my dad died. My friend john was there for me and 100 ways that summer and repeatedly over the next four or five years so was my friend marcus. They could be counted on to bear with me when i'm wishing not only over my father's suicide but over a lost sweetheart several of them messed up report cards all the struggles and that we have and later uncertainty regarding where i was going to live and what i was going to do with my life. I can't remember which one of aesop's fables ends with the moral never trust a friend who deserts you in a pinch. But i've always remembered the morale. It's a funny thing though a lots of times hanging in there through good times is even tougher than hanging in through. Tough time is oscar wilde observed. Anyone can sympathize with the suffering of a friend but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success lasting friendships are grounded in the knowledge that no matter how successful anyone appears to be there are areas in all of our lives where we do not feel successful at all. Our friends know all about these areas and they like us and they like to hang out with us. Just the same. A third aspect of friendship perhaps its main component is companion ability. The deep level comfort one chest has and being out in the company of a great friend. Describing his relationship with award-winning journalist and author john hockenberry businessman rick rutkowski explains the difference between friends and bestfriends is that deeper level of knowing a deeper level of confidence and trust and familiarity that despised description there's a comfort that you can come and go and you don't have to pay tolls. Has the unitarian emerson put it the essence of friendship is entire net. A total trust. Do is trust loyalty and companion bility are the three virtues of friendship what then are its signs will first of all a true friend is someone you can count on as one fellow i talked to put it a best friend is someone you can call if you're on the expressway and get a flat tire at 3 a.m. and you've been told it's four hours until a tow truck can be sent. Your friend says. Tell me exactly where you are and i'll come and get you. Tv newsman larry king talking about his friendship with her cohen agreed if herbie were oj and asked me to drive the bronco for him. I would do it. As one old salt in my one-year dinner in maine and one old salt in the church where they two of them they were talking and the one guy said i would go to the gates of hell with my friend here through thick and thin and his companions. There are limits however. For delicate situations that their special consideration princeton's mark twain sagely pointed out. That the holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime. If not asked to lend money. Money can be a problem. I've had more than one congregate tell me over the years of a friendship strained or even broken because of an unpaid debt. That is why observant jews repay all debts. Once a year at the least. The buddha. Always looking for the gift and every contingency encouraged his followers to go ahead and lend money when asked if if you can afford it. And rejoice that you've been loaned life itself which goes better for a person the more generous she or he is. Always in every aspect. Another aspect of friendship is a certain regard we have for our friends we admire them we enjoy being around them in part because we think highly of them. We're proud to be their friend. The chinese sage confucius was encouraging this aspect of friendship it seems to me when he admonished never contract friendship with a man who is not a little better than yourself. A touchstone of old friendships has the ability of both parties to disagree with one another amicably. I think i my friend marcus with whom i disagree on virtually every political issue but i love tent spend time with him just the same it helps that we've been close for 45 plus years. While opinions often divide people sentiments i think 10 to unite them. Maybe it's because the friendships of our youth are almost all based on sentiment that we're able to hang in there with such people even when our ideas veer in opposite directions. General dwight eisenhower and george patton we're polar opposites they met each other young became and stayed friends. Eisenhower stubborn straightforward caution complimented patents dashing recklessness despite their differences the soldiers shared a friendship that survived many decades. And many heated disagreements. The unitarian poet and diplomat james russell lowell. Describe that same dynamic when he said i don't meddle with might with what my friends believe or reject. Anymore than i asked whether they are rich or poor. I love them. There's a turkish proverb that says he who seeks a friend without a fall remains without one. Learning to ignore the foibles and limitations of our friends is what enables us to love them. And jada love us back. Keeping in mind how easily we ignore our own faults makes it easier to ignore others. There are moments when a true friend will tell you the truth painful as it may be. Usually these moments are when asked. And in private. Otherwise friendship requires an element of tact it seems to me. Keep well a guy tongue wrote geoffrey chaucer and one of the canterbury tales and keep thy friends. The unitarian tourist oliver wendell holmes agreed don't flatter yourself road home that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimate. The nearer you come in relation with a person the more necessary do tact and courtesy become. Except in cases of necessity which are rare. Leave your friend to learn unpleasant things from his enemies they are ready enough to tell him. Stephen ambrose dwight eisenhower's late biography rights of his subjects great talent for making and maintaining friends. Being a good friend requires effort if you don't pick up the phone now and then. And write a letter or send an email. Or some other kind of an overture. Friendships tend to wilt. I live for a decade in santa fe and i was always. Enchanted with especially how that city. How are the interesting people a combination of entrepreneurs and artists. And native americans and hispanic old-guard kind of figured out in the 20's and 30's how to market santa fe and make it into the wonderful place it is. But one of the key people in that was one of the great friends in history of fellow a poet by the name of hal witter brynner in this interview yesterday poet to know winter printer but he wrote the best translation of the eching ever. And he had the remarkable capacity to meet people where exactly they were. He just like people and he'd meet them he wasn't superficial. Any continue to be a friend with people all the time not despite the fact that he was a very. Flamboyant gay man in an old with southwestern town but you never was as one love as the local artist. Paul frank said the one man who was accepted by people every group in santa fe always everywhere. And everyone agreed it was because he would meet people right where they were. And so wonderful a great story about a great friendly person so this guy comes to santa fe. And he's introduced as president of the american poetry poetry society. So bitter invites him to his house for one of his favorites. Famous five teas and they hit it off and they go talking all our the night and finally about 10 he have to go to another engagement and you said oh i'm so sorry we're late but. By the way when i left the east i was head of the poetry society of america i've been gone so long and i've been isolated. I've received no literature doll from the american poetry society. And the man said oh my goodness mister brenner. I'm afraid you've misunderstood me i'm the head of the american poultry. Society hal winner benner met people where they were not where he wanted them to be not where he wanted them to evolve to it he just immediately got to know and in this case become good friends with at about anybody including a chicken salesman. If a person doesn't know how to make new friend you'll go through life if you run out she's gotta keep friendships in repair keep attending to them and keep introduce getting. Close to new people and in time they become friends in fact much. The old friends happened pretty fast you'd be surprised. The french author victor hugo was thinking of this when he wrote my coat and i live comfortably together it's assumed all my wrinkles does not hurt me anymore and it's molded itself to my deformities and his complacent to all my movement and i only feel its presence because it keeps me warm. Old friends and old coats are the same thing. One way of understanding friendship is by noting what it's not. Or rather what's not there when friendship is absent i distinctly recall reading back in the. 80s watergate felon jeb magruder's two-part autobiography and one thing i found most interesting that is his observation that when. Creep started the committee to reelect the president was. Getting expose many of these so-called friend stopped wanting to be seen with him or even calling and meanwhile magruder and his wife. Had friends that they knew at church with a presbyterian church that kind of hung in there and he explained in his autobiography that he never really understood what friendship was before that the people he called friends we're just business associates. Immediately do when this crisis in their life happened they started spending more time with their circle at church and after magruder got out of prison he went to princeton seminary became. Administer in far more liberal by the way then fellows. Co-conspirator chuck colson. After running is two-part autobiography on ike eisenhower historian steve ambrose wrote another three-part. Biography on nixon. He noted more than once how opposite the men wear when it came to making and keeping friends. Even with bebe rebozo another supposed close friends road ambrose there was a dick a distance nixon once said i never wanted to be buddy-buddy even with close friends i don't believe in letting your hair down confiding this or that today or the other thing singgih i couldn't sleep because i was worrying so about this or that. I believe you should keep your troubles to yourself some people are different some people think it's good therapy to sit with a close friend you know and spill your guts. Richard nixon apparently thought such people. Were we. Others including me would regard them as healthy and feel it's sad pathetic almost for anyone to go through life without a friend like that. Contrast this with the sentiments expressed by emily dickinson. It's like including. They'll reclusive emily dickinson was an avid correspondent with a few close select entenmann's kind of a facebook friend from an earlier era. Emily dickinson define. For defined. Her entire world earth lee estate. As being made up of her friendships. Or consider this from an 1856 letter she wrote to one of her dear friends. My only sketch profile of heaven. Is a large blue sky bluer and larger than the biggest i've seen in june and in it. Are all my friends all of them every one of them those who are with me now those who were parted as we walked. If roses has not faded and frosted not come and wanted not fallen here and there whom i could not waken. There were no need of other heaven than the one below and if god had been here this summer and seen the things i've seen. I guess that he would think his paradise superfluous. Suffer emily dickinson heaven is most aptly described as a big sky containing all her friends. Her earthly goods. And her most longed-for after death reward we're both. Her friends. So maybe with us. A wealth of friendships both here on earth and in whatever state. We find ourselves. Whence we die. Blessed be. And i'm at.
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